It’s okay to feel.
Oh no. I’ve written it down. Now I have to accept that it’s true.
Nooooo. Don’t make me! Let me avoid this for just a little longer.
If I accept that this is true then all of the feelings are going to come crashing down upon me at once and it’s going to overwhelm me. I might even panic.
I am someone who feels things intensely. It’s just how my body is. I’m sensitive.
It’s not that I want to shove feelings down…I’m trying to survive.
I fear that my emotions are so strong that they will take me down.
I use food (sweets) as a way to keep my body feeling good. It’s a quick way to guarantee that I will. There’s nothing like the hit of dopamine my brain gets from sugar or carbs, even if I crash later.
But the extra weight I continue to gain is physically starting to take me down.
I’m five feet tall, and all the weight has gathered, quite unevenly, in the middle. It’s not about looks. It’s harder to move. It’s a lot harder to dance, which I love to do. I waddle everywhere.
If I sense a mountain of dread on the horizon, I will eat.
If I sense the falling sensation of extreme disappointment, I will eat.
